My son and his best friend were going on an all-day class field trip. The trip consisted of hiking up a high mountain. My wife and the best friend’s mom were both terrified about the trip. They forced me to go to the mountain and watch over our kids for the entire day. It was… Read more »

My Son: “Hey Daddy…when are we getting a new car?” Wife: “Yes…this one is old…and it’s getting smelly!” Me: “What? There is nothing wrong with this old girl.” My Son: “Why do you call the car a girl?” Me: “Oh…cars have personalities. People even give names to their cars.” My Son: “So our car is… Read more »

Bath time with my son.    My Son: (Grabbing his privates)…“Daddy! There is something inside!” Me:  “Those are your testicles Buddy.” My Son: “Oh…” Me:  “You seem disappointed.” My Son: “Yeah…” Me:  “What did you think they were?” My Son: “Skittles.”

I was lightly napping on the sofa. Out of the corner of my eye I could see my wife staring lovingly at me while she thought I was asleep. Me: (Yawn) …“Hey….” Wife: “Huh? Oh…you’re awake.” Me: “Yeah…I saw you watching me when you thought I was asleep.” Wife: “Was I?” Me: “Yep…and I could… Read more »

  I went to do some work in the garden. I noticed a big hole dug into the soil and an abandoned shovel.   Me: “Hey…we’re you digging a hole in the garden?” My Son: “Yeah.” Me: “Why?” My Son: “I was digging to the Underworld.” Me: “Really? That’s pretty deep. What for?” My Son:… Read more »